From Dinner Parties to Pot Lucks

An inevitable historical adaptation to individualism

This is a draft excerpt of my forthcoming book - Our Worst Strength - American Individualism and its Hidden Discontents. All future excerpts are for paid subscribers to help support book production.

Half of Americans invite guests to their homes at least monthly; a quarter do it weekly or more.¹ Over the last half-century, though, our felt obligation to cook all the food for these guests has declined.

As food sensitivities have spread into virtually all family social networks, and dozens of aspirational diets have taken off in the past quarter century, the odds are decent that if you invite 5-10 guests to your home, you will at least have 1-2 people who cannot (or refuse to eat) the more commonly served foods and ingredients at American parties: queso, guacamole, chips, pretzels, cured meats, cheese, cold cut sandwiches, diet soda, Gatorade, burgers, hot dogs, bagels/cheese, muffins/scones, mixed nuts, alcohol, etc.).  Great, James. Now I’m hungry.

Are you current on all your friends and family members’ dietary regimens? Most likely…not really. Adults now go in and out of these alterations in 1–3-month cycles pretty routinely. FYI: January and February are good months to expect sudden, temporary changes. The fact that we cannot necessarily assume to know the current dietary profile of our closest friends (unless we live with them) is something we should step back and contemplate. Even with these so-called intimate relationships beyond our kitchen, we must ask before every party where we will offer food.